Waiting, Wishing
by dragongurl713
Summary: Jared and Jensen have been together forever. Or, at least, since Jared had gathered the courage to ask his hot TA on a date during his sophomore year. Now, five years later, life has proven to be a more formidable opponent than either had expected.
_I'm at home, sitting right by the phone. I'm gonna sit here all night and I'm not going to work tomorrow, so I'll sit here all day. So if you hear this, then I must be in the bathroom or something. Anyway, I'm here. Waiting. Waiting for you. So, if it's you, Jen, I still love you, 'kay? I love you._

 ***BEEP***

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

They met because Jared was a scholarship student and Jensen was making him fail his Biology gen ed.

At least, that's how Jared always told it.

Truthfully, Jared thought he'd died and gone to heaven when he first laid eyes on his green-eyed Biology TA. The man was easy on the eyes, no doubt, but not so easy with the red pen.

Jared realized his "stare and drool until he notices me" strategy wasn't working too well at about the same time he got his first test back. There was more red than black and Jared had to admit that taking notes was probably a good idea.

His real break came when Jensen announced TA study sessions and — jackpot! — one-on-ones. Jared's name was the first on the sign-up sheet and they went out for their first coffee date a week later.

Jensen noticed the tall, goofy kid the minute he'd walked in on the first day of class and only waited because his professor said he could only date students if they asked first.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 _Hey, you've reached Jared. If this is about the Craigslist ad, I sold the car. Sorry. If it's Tuesday, I'm probably out with the guys. If you know where, you're welcome to join us. If I wanted to buy useless crap, I'd watch late-night TV, so don't bother calling back if you're selling something. If it's anyone else, leave a message at the tone. And, uh, if it's Jen, I still love you. A lot. So…_

 ***BEEP***

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Jenny!"

Jared almost stumbled at the shout, shooting a nervous glance between Jensen and the short, long-haired guy who'd shouted. Considering the last person to call his boyfriend the dreaded girl's name had wound up with a broken nose, he felt his apprehension was justified.

Jensen just grinned and pulled the other man into a one-armed hug.

"Hey, Chris. Guys," he acknowledged the group gathered around the table. He glanced back with grin, entwining their fingers and pulling Jared forward. "I'd like you all to meet my man, Jared."

Jared gave an awkward wave and smiled.

"Ooooooh. So tell me, Jared. Are you his man or his _man_?"

Jared stiffened. Did Jensen's friends not know? He wasn't going to out him. God knows just how bad he knows that can be…

"Guys, quit," Jensen squeezed his hand and scowled at his friends. "Y'all know Jay's my boyfriend. I told you weeks ago."

"Yeah, well, you didn't tell us he was jailbait," Chris said. "You even old enough to shave, kid?"

" _And_ drive. Just don't tell my momma I'm out so late."

The guys laughed as they sat, Jensen still holding his hand. He was introduced to Steve, Misha and Jason and, after a brief but light-hearted round of 20 questions, was left alone.

He spent the night watching the group, but mostly Jensen. It was obvious that the guys had known each for a long time and he was content to see a new side of his boyfriend.

As the bar emptied, he excused himself to the bathroom. As he was washing up, Chris stepped next to him.

He sighed at the other man's glare.

"Is this where you threaten my life and manhood if I ever hurt Jensen? 'Cause I can tell you it's not necessary. I love him."

Chris snorted.

"Love's just a word, kid. It ain't always enough."

"It's more than a word for me. And for Jen. It's a promise. A commitment."

Chris studied him in the mirror and then shrugged.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Sure," Chris clapped Jared on the shoulder, leaving a wet handprint as he moved to the paper towel dispenser. "Just wanted to make sure you're as serious as Jen is."

"And?" Jared couldn't help sounding hopeful.

Chris stopped by the door and turned back to meet his eyes.

"You know you're the first guy he's ever brought to meet in the 5 years of Tuesdays we've been coming here?"

He smirked at Jared's expression.

"You're good for him, kid. Just keep it that way."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 _Hey, you've reached UNCLE JARED! Or soon-to-be, anyway — Jeff, I'm on my way and everything's gonna be fine, I promise. I'm probably at the hospital with my nephew, who is way more important than anything you've got to say, so try me again in a few days. Actually, make it a week. Unless it's Jensen, then please, please leave a message. You've got a nephew to meet, man. I love you._

 ***BEEP***

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"I want one."

"Jared, no."

"Come on, look at how little it is."

"What would we do with that? We'd probably forget to feed it or something and end up in jail."

"We never forget to feed the dogs! Plus, I think these things are preprogrammed to let us know when it needs to be fed."

"And changed and sick and sleepy and…"  
Jared finally looked up from the baby he was ogling across the restaurant.

"Spoilsport."

Jensen snorted and focused on the menu. Jared hesitated, running a finger through his glass' condensation.

"We could, y'know."

Jensen dropped the menu, eyes tightening in annoyance.

"Could what?"

"Have a baby."

"Jared, I know biology isn't your strongest subject, but…"

"Haha, asshole. I meant adoption. Having someone else's baby."

Jensen stared at him.

"You're serious."

Jared ducked his head.

"Well…"

"Jay, we're not getting a kid."

"Why not?"

"Why- Do I have to spell it all out? Kids take over your whole life. They drain resources, take up your time, ruin everything. No one's gonna give a kid to two gay guys anyway. I mean, we're not even married, dude."

"We could do that, too."

"Do- Get married?"  
The increasingly present sick feeling in Jared's stomach was growing.

"Well, yeah. You don't have to make it sound so unbelievable."

"Do you not remember where we live, Jared? It's completely unbelievable."

"I know we can't get married _here_ , but there are other places we can go. I'm, I want to do that, Jen. I want to marry you, make it official."

Jensen was pale and his eyes were flat, like they only got when he was freaking out.

"This isn't the place for this discussion," he said, lifting his menu.

"Jen-"

"Not here."

The knot in Jared's throat kept him from eating much of his dinner, but he dropped the subject.

Their "discussion" happened when they got home and it didn't resolve anything. All that Jared really got from his boyfriend was that he "needed to clear his mind."

Jensen was gone the next morning.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 _If this is Jensen, I'm sorry about that last message. It was all bullshit, which I hope you already know. I guess that's why I shouldn't leave our friends alone with the phone. If this is anyone else, I should be in or at work all week, so try there or wait for a call back._

 _And I mean it, Jen. I'll never stop waiting, no matter what they think. I love you._

 ***BEEP***

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Jared hurried to the phone, almost tripping over Harley as he lunged toward the cordless. He glimpsed Chris' name on the display as he brought the speaker to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, man, it's me. We still on for tonight?"

""Course."

"Good, 'cause Steve decided to drive himself and I'm almost on your street."

Jared huffed a laugh.

"Thanks for the heads up," he said sarcastically.

"Anything for you, brother."

"Ass."

"Call me whatever you like, but I'm pulling up to the house right now and if you don't your ass down here, I'm leavin' you behind."

"Dude, seriously, you suck. Give me like five minutes."

"Five minutes? What are you doin', painting your nails?"

"Ha ha. I've got to reset my voicemail and I'll be right down, scout's honor."

The phone crackled with silence.

"Jay, man, you know I love Jensen like a brother, but. It's been a year, man, don't you think it's time you-"

"No, Chris, I don't, actually. Anything else you want to say before I hang up on you?"

"Jared, come on, don't be like that…"

"Like what? Loyal? A good friend? I thought out of everybody, you'd get it. That you'd know he's worth it."  
"I'm not saying he's not! I've known that boy a whole lifetime longer than you, Jared, so don't you dare think I'm saying he's not worth anything. But you gotta take care of yourself too, man, and living for the hope that he's gonna call isn't helping you any. How long are you gonna keep this up? Another year? A decade? Jen's always been the kind of guy who does what he wants when he's ready for it and waiting for him like you're doing isn't going to bring him back any sooner. I just. I can't keep watching you like this. It's killing me, man."  
"I know. I know, and I'm sorry, but. It's all I've got. If I can't keep believing that one of these messages will make it to him and, and bring him back, then I've got nothing. I need it, Chris. Please."

Chris sighed.

"Yeah, I. Yeah, okay. Okay. Just get out here quick. I ain't gonna sit here forever."

Jared smiled shakily and dashed a hand across his eyes.

"Just give me a minute. I'll be right out. And...thanks, Chris."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 _You've reached Jared. If it's Friday night, I'm at the game — go Cowboys! I'm gonna be heading home to the folk's house first thing Saturday and I'll be gone all weekend. Leave me a message and I'll give you a call back if I like you and your name's not Chad._

 _P.S., if this is Jensen, I still love you._

 ***BEEP***

"512-965-0032."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Harley ran barking into the apartment the moment the door opened. Jared chuckled as he followed him in, dumping his duffle on the floor. Sadie followed more sedately, giving Jared a quick sniff before moving to the kitchen.

Jared dropped his keys on the counter and noticed the blinking light on the phone. Ignoring the now familiar swoop of hope, he grabbed the phone and dialed voicemail.

The first was from his dentist, reminding him of his impending doom, er, appointment. He pushed aside the ensuing disappointment and moved to fill the dog bowls.

As he filled the bowls under the faucet, he listened to his mother's reminder to call her about his dad's 60th birthday party, as if he hadn't left them only four hours before.

He was pouring kibble when Chad's — obviously drunk-dialed — message ended and the next one began.

"512-965-0032."

Dog food scattered across the floor as he dropped the bag and scrambled for the phone. He madly hit buttons until the message replayed.

"512-965-0032."

Could it be…

"512-965-0032."

It was. It had to be.

"512-965-0032."

 _Jensen._

Stumbling to a chair, he carefully redialed the number, ignoring the dogs who were now gobbling up the mess.

 _5-1-2-9-6-5-0-0-3-2._

The phone rang and rang, his anxiety ratcheting up with each.

A pause, a click, then…

"You've reached Jensen."

Voicemail. He couldn't tell if the band around his chest was more from disappointment or anticipation.

"Jared, if this is you, then I'm sorry. I'm so, so fucking sorry. Leaving was never the right decision and I've regretted it every day. And I'm sorry that I'm still here and you're still there. And," A breath. "And I want to come home. Can I come home, Jared?"

He's crying, breaths stuttering in and out.

"Yeah, um. As much as I love listening to your voicemails, this isn't one," Jensen chuckled wetly. "Can I get an answer?"

"God, yeah, yes, of course. Of course, you can come back. You can always, always. Ohmygod, it's you, really you."

Jensen laughed again and Jared folded over, phone tight to his ear and hand over his eyes.

"Do you, are you being serious? When? I, god, I'll just, tell me to shut up. Actually, just, tell me that when you get here. And when will that be, exactly?"

"About that…"

A knock at the door.

Jared growled.

"Hold on, there's-" Someone at the door.

He jumped up, running, and flung the door open. Jensen smiled sheepishly, hair a little longer and eyes a little red.

The phone slipped out of his hand as they came together, arms tight and chests hitching against each other.

Jared buried his face in Jensen's neck and breathed deeply.

"By the way," Jensen whispered, breath hot in his ear. "This is Jensen and I still love you, too."


End file.
